>> >>10 Commandments of a Teenager!!!
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>1) thou shall not sneak out when parents
>> >>are sleeping.
>> >>
>> >>(why wait?)
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>2)thou shall not do drugz
>> >>
>> >>(alcohol last longer)
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>3)thou shall not steel from k-mart.
>> >>
>> >>(Wal*Mart has a bigger selection)
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>4)thou shall not get arrested for
>> >>vandalism.
>> >>
>> >>(destruction has a bigger effect)
>> >>
>> >>5)thou shall not
>>steel from thy parents.
>> >>
>> >>(every-1 knows grandma has more money)
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>6)thou shall not get in fights.
>> >>
>> >>(just start them)
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>7)thou shall not skip class.
>> >>
>> >>(just take the whole day off)
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>8)thou shall not strip in class.
>> >>
>> >>(hooters pays more)
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>9)thou shall not think about having sex.
>> >>
>> >>(as nike sayz just do it)
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>10)thou shall not help old ladies cross
>> >>the street.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>(just leave them in the middle)
>> >>


*STUPID QUESTIONS WITH SMART ANSWERS SENT BY A STUPID PERSON TO ANOTHER
STUPID PERSON*

**
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
**
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me... **
**
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
**
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
**
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
**
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon?? **
**
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you! **
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there?? **
**
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his
mouth. *
*
**
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me **scarred**
**
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of
the
other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes
out of
the mouth. **
**
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly. **
**
1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday". **
**
2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun
gives
us ligh t only in the day time when we don't need it". **
**
3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are

no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher". **
**
4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?" **
**
5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called
current affairs. **
**
6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman". **
**
7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's
performance
repeated". **
**
8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and
stopped
him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love". **
**
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook". **
**
10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering d octor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of
ten
people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've
treated.
The others all died". **
**
11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day
and at
the same time." **
**
12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand." *